“The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have,
and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach.” ~~Lin Yutang

How do we become “content” with our bodies after an ostomy?
As spring arrives the bathing suits begin to filter into the department stores.  I walk through the stores and look to see what this years styles are. I am pleased to tell you that bathing suit season does not scare me. Yes I have an ileostomy and yes it wasn’t always so easy to feel content about it.

I was 22 when I received my life changing surgery. As I look back on those days of uncertainty I smile at the thought of my biggest fear… How will I look in a bathing suit? It seems ridiculous now (20 or so years later). Was I vain? Was I Ungrateful for the intestinal re-route that saved my life? You bet I was. I looked in the mirror and saw damaged goods. How sad… how painfully depressing to think that way.

With time and maturity comes beautiful perspective. I am healthy. I am beautiful (even in a one-piece swim suit).
I am married to a man who tough me what LOVE feels like. He doesn’t care about my scar or my toilet habits. He cares about holding my hand, kissing me and touching me. He is smitten with a girl with an ostomy… A girl who will soon be sporting a flirty swimsuit on a sandy beach in the Fijian Islands.

The following is an excerpt from
BREAK FREE FROM THEIR SPELL
-An eBook from the Lifted Hearts Network-

You love someone. Or do you? Maybe you don’t love them at all. All you know is
that they have some kind of magical hold over you, some kind of spell that keeps
you from being happy and living your life to your fullest. You want desperately to
break free from their spell, but the more you try, the harder it is.

LETTING GO OF OTHERS!
Nothing is more frustrating than trying to live other’s lives for them, except trying
to live your life for others instead of for yourself. (Boy, that was a mouthful!)
Below are some signs of codependency in a relationship. Check any and all
which might apply to you:
· Your good feelings about yourself are based on your mate liking you,
loving you, or approving of you.
· His/Her upsets disrupt your ability to feel peaceful.
· You feel an action of theirs, or even they, themselves, are responsible for
your current problems, or your pain.
· Your mental attention is focused on wondering how they are feeling, or
what they are thinking or doing.
· Your goal is to please him/her.
· Your goal is to solve their problems.
· Your goal is to protect them from blame.
· You plot and plan ways to make them do it your way, or change their
current opinions.
· You feel good about yourself only when you have won their attention,
approval, or affections.
· You’ve lost sight of your own hobbies and interests, but know their
hobbies and interests to a tee.
· Your clothing and personal appearance is based on what you feel will
please them.
· You’re not aware of what you feel, like, dislike, or desire as much as you
are aware of what your mate likes, dislikes, desires, and feels.
· You don’t ask yourself what you want, you ask what they want.
· Your visual dreams of the future are not of what you will do, but what they
will do, or what you will do with them.
· Your biggest fear is to be rejected by him/her.
· Your fear of his/her disapproval, or anger, dictates your every move and
action.
· You give and give to them until you feel used, drained, and taken
advantage of, your own needs cast aside.
· You have given up most of your friends, focusing your entire life around
your mate.
· You put your own personal values and convictions aside to please them.
· You trust their judgment more than your own.
· Your happiness is in direct relation to him/her being in your life.
· If they are in a bad mood, angry, sad, or upset, it must be because of a
direct result of something you have done.
· You feel you must be perfect to keep them in your life.
· Never mind what you want, what do they want.
· You have difficulty making decisions without their input.
· If they find a flaw or fault in you, then it must exist.
· You tolerate your mate’s bad behavior and disrespect; you are loyal to
your mate at all costs of personal happiness.
· If you are not needed by your mate you cannot think of a reason to live.

Reason 101 to wear your My Heart Tie

“There are two types of women: those who want power in
the world, and those who want power in the bedroom.”
– Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

“Your mental attitude is something you can control
outright and you must use self discipline until you create
a positive mental attitude - your mental attitude attracts to you
everything that makes you what you are.”

~ Napoleon Hill

ME too. Not such a bad thing….. LOVE

“Over the long haul,  ‘resiliency’ may be the single most important of all personal characteristics.

How well you can take a punch.

How quickly you can recover.

How you can weather storms of criticism or humiliation. How adept you are at reinvention.

If you want to cultivate a characteristic, this is the one. And one way to do so is with the little stuff. The day to day.

Dan Kennedy
http://dankennedy.com/blog/

Can You Recognize Toxic People? Can You Remove Them From Your Life??
~Your HEALTH may depend on it!!

Following is a list of commonly encountered types of toxic people, with descriptions of their basic toxic characteristics.

The Psychopath: The Psychopath lacks empathy and sympathy, is completely devoid of a conscience, and derives pleasure from others’ suffering.

The Sociopath: The Sociopath completely disregards the rights and feelings of others, and is incapable of experiencing remorse, shame or guilt.

The Pathological Liar: The Pathological Liar lacks the capacity to tell the truth-in fact, the pathological lacks the ability to even recognize the truth.

The Emotional Wreck: The Emotional Wreck is constantly on an emotional rollercoaster. This individual simply cannot keep it together.

The Putdown Artist: The Putdown Artist is constantly making others the butt of jokes in an attempt to deflect attention away from their own shortcomings.

The Hatemonger/Blamemonger: The Hatemonger/Blamemonger hates everyone who is nicer, smarter, richer, better connected or more successful than they are. The Hatemonger/Blamemonger blames every individual and every group of individuals that is different from them for all of their particular problems, as well as for everything the Hatemonger/Blamemonger believes is wrong with the world in general.

The Misogynist/Misandrist/Misanthrope: The Misogynist hates women. The Misandrist hates women. The Misanthrope hates ALL humans without regard to gender. The Misogynist/Misandrist/Misanthrope blames women, men or people in general for all of their problems and failures.

The World Class Jerk: The World Class Jerk is a classless, uncouth, foul-mouthed jackass who is universally offensive.

The Moocher: The Moocher constantly asks to borrow everything money to breath mints. The Moocher develops amnesia when it’s time to pay back a loan, and is never able to reciprocate a favor.

The Downer: The Downer is always in a bad mood. In fact, The Downer takes great pains to maintain their bad mood and to broadcast it to anyone who will listen.

The Illwill Ambassador: The Illwill Ambassador seeks out bad news and rumors and works overtime to make sure no one misses out on their malevolent mudslinging.

The Instigator: The Instigator lives to create discord, hostility and strife. The Instigator actually nurtures confrontation.

The Bully: The Bully thrives on dominating and humiliating those they perceive as weaker than them.

The Master Manipulator: The Master Manipulator uses cunning, trickery and subterfuge to control victims.

The Blackmailer: The Blackmailer works hard to gain your trust so they can learn your secrets and weaknesses and exploit them when you cross them.

The Blabbermouth: The Blabbermouth tells everything they know–especially your personal business.

The Generally Malcontent: The Generally Malcontent finds dissatisfaction with everything and makes a point of never being happy…ever.

The Love Predator: The Love Predator pretends to be your friend, finds out all your business and uses it to try to get your spouse or lover into bed. The Love Predator doesn’t actually want your spouse or lover; they want you to know they slept with (or could have slept with) your spouse or lover.

The Self-Destructor: The Self-Destructor eats too much, drinks too much, smokes too much and parties too much. The Self-Destructor is the embodiment of the word reckless.

Those of us with chronic health conditions need to pay attention!  Protect yourself from the elephant in the room.

Please see the letter I just received today. My heart is overflowing and always will be.

Hello, I am 19 years old and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis at seven, after a difficult six years at the age of 13 I went into surgery for the ileostomy due to a shutdown of my colon. Going through teenage years is hard enough for any young girl, no one feels particularly confident about their body and I felt as though an ileostomy made everything worse. Even now I was still bitter towards the surgery that saved my life, I fear I would never feel beautiful, or sexy. My greatest fear is was when I would finally meet someone to marry, I would feel embarrassed and uncomfortable on my wedding night.

Thank you,
Emily