May 05, 2009
Emotional Abuse is as painful as being hit…. The bruise appears
on heart,soul and mind.
Emotional Abuse allows one person to gain power and control over another through words and gestures which gradually undermine the other’s self respect. Emotional abuse can be difficult to identify, as there is no scars or marks, and the torment can continue indefinitely. Conflict, arguments and criticism are all healthy ways of interacting with others – so what makes communication abusive?
Emotional abuse falls into three patterns:
- Aggressive: which includes name-calling, belittling, blaming, accusing, yelling, screaming, making threats, degrading insults or destructive criticism
- Denying: this includes sulking, manipulation, neglecting, not listening, withholding affection and distorting the other’s experience
- Minimising: this can include belittling the effect of something, isolating, accusations of exaggerating or inventing and offering solutions or ‘advice’.
Signs of Emotional Abuse
- Depression or Anxiety
- Increased isolation from friends and family
- Fearful or agitated behaviour
- Lower self-esteem and self-confidence
- Addiction to alcohol or drugs
- Escapist behaviour
Emotional abuse can damage a person’s confidence so that they feel worthless and find it hard to make or keep other relationships. Secrecy and shame usually maintain the abuse.
Causes
Powerlessness, hurt, fear and anger are often unresolved issues for both the abuser and the abused. Childhood patterns can be re-enacted in emotional abuse with one participant taking the ‘parent’ role and the other adopting that of the ‘child’. A person may also be an abuser in one relationship and abused in another as they reverse unresolved emotions. Abusers find it difficult to handle their feelings and blame their problems on others instead.
i agree with this totally